Endless Hallways or Leading You in Circles

“I’ll call you Vampie.”

The vampire glared at me. “What?”

“You seem like a Vampie,” I replied, dusting off the front of my mage robes. After dodging skeletons on the upper floors, we tried looking for a way out on the the lower ones. That was a mistake. These ruins were proving to be one giant maze where the exit could have already caved in. And my hair was getting in my face constantly. Whatever was in the air was making it all frizz. Why didn’t I think to bring a hair tie?

Vampie, as he was now dubbed, scowled. “Fine then, I’ll call you Mage-y, so long as we’re making up names.”

I shrugged back and quickened my pace down the dark hall. The small glowing ball from my spell rested on the end of my quarter staff and provided the only light this place had seen in years. Early in my education, I didn’t want to waste my time learning a “useless” light spell. Why waste magic energy when you have torches? You have no idea how grateful I was to have it now. “If you want, but my name is just Mage.”

That stopped him in his tracks. “You’re Mage Mage?”

Pausing a few steps ahead, I glanced back, then continued on. “Yes. I wanted to be a knight originally, but being Knight Mage might confuse people.”

“Or give them the wrong idea,” Vampie added, trotting to catch up. Even he couldn’t see in total darkness. He needed my light spell “They still teach history in your human schools, don’t they?”

I pinched my shoulders, then released them. Some of the bones in my neck popped, releasing some of the tension there. Had we been down this long hallway before? They were all starting to look the same. “I know it. I’m sure you saw the war first hand.”

A slight bit of color tinted Vampie’s pale cheeks, and he put a hand to his long face like a shy school girl. “Oh, now, there’s no need for flattery. I wasn’t planning on eating you…unless we’re down her for a couple of weeks, but you won’t last that long.” I shot him a glare and he flashed me a toothy grin. “I’m old, but not that old, I’m afraid. Which is a shame. I’d receive more respect from my peers if I was.”

My eyes squinted as I gave him a sideways look. “I’m gonna call your fangs Sharpie Left and Sharpie Right.”

For a moment, his mouth hung open. Then he snapped it shut and forced a smirk. “You’re naming my teeth?”

“Yep. I should name this place too. I’m thinking Endless Hallways, but Leading You in Circles is a close second. What do you think?”

“We’re walking in circles?”

Gesturing to the turn in the hallway up ahead, I focused on the chalk arrow on the wall. The Hallway went both to the left and right. The arrow was pointing right. “See the chalk arrow? I made that when we first walked this way, and we came from the left. We just walked in a big circle.”

“Great,” Vampie groaned, messaging his temples.

“Sooo…” I turned to him. “…Endless Hallways or Leading You in Circles?”

Vampie lowered his hands and gave my a sour look. “What?”

“For the name of this place. Endless Hallways or Leading You in Circles?”

His eyes turned upward. “Oh for the love of – why would you do this to me, oh merciless deities?” He looked back at me. “This is an old set of ruins. It doesn’t matter what its called. And why are you naming everything?”

I gave another shrug, then started down the left hallway. We might as well go back to where we started and try another route. “I’m stressed and I name things when I’m stressed.”

Vampie slapped a hand over his eyes. “I’ve found something new I hate about you: your coping methods.”

“Well, I hate you so I think we’re even…Vampie.”

He tensed and glowered at my back, dragging his feet as he followed me. This was going to be a long dungeon crawl.